When I was younger I tried so hard to be one of those girls who would write everything down in a cute little journal which of course would be tucked under the corner of the mattress or perhaps inside of a pillow case where no one would find it. I always started off great. 7 page entries detailing every little thing I did on a that particular day, 11 pages about what i though about this or that, 5 pages of loopy cursive about whatever boy had caught my eye at the time, but then there were gaps...as long as a week or even 5-6 months with nothing. Then Id feel guilty for not being one of those girls and Id scribble in a quick, "been busy, not much going on. ill write more later." and that would be it for another 6 months till I could muster the willpower to write more then two sentences.
When I was pregnant with my daughter inspiration struck and I filled two entire composition notebooks with stories from my life and things Id want her to know about me later in her life, perhaps after I'm gone, or at least when shes old enough to understand why I felt compelled to tell the things I told. I tried to start writing after she was born, so she would have a fairly detailed 'log' of what kind of baby she had been, things that were happening in our lives, etc. Needless to say that never really happened, though I tried....I really really tried. She'll be 3 in just over a month and I'm probably lucky if there's more then 5 entries.
A few days ago, well, okay two days ago to be exact, the feeling hit me again and I immediately went to the store and bought a purple wire spiral spined notebook and new pens, certain that as soon as I returned with them I would sit down and fill a good third if not half. But in reality, its found its way to my purse, so I could take it with me to work and have it at the ready should I get the urge and it sits there still untouched. Who knows....maybe tomorrow will be the day.
In the meantime I thought Id give in and try and internet blog. I never really liked the word blog. I never really liked the idea. I mean, I love to read other peoples blogs. Its always interesting to hear about what other people go through or think about on a day to day basis but I consider myself a fairly boring person...often too critical on myself, a little vain, sometimes too bossy, often times a pushover....certainly not interesting enough to garner a few megabytes of space on the internet. While I'm still not sure this is for me, I'm going to give it a go though....perhaps Ive just had major writers block for several years now and this will clear the way for my true genius to come out ...or at least give me a nice place to vent if nothing else. 8-)